Welcome back to the channel, Lério Cunha here, your motivational speaker, consultant and trainer that loves feedback. Loves learning about it, loves sharing tools about it. And also loves discovering new ideas and tips on how one can become a pros on giving ourselves feedback in the most energizing manner.
1. Vlad or Bolt?
Which one are you using?
Are you Vlad – draining energy like a vampire?
Or are you a Feedback Bolt – charging others (and yourself) with energy?
Words have power.
The power to suck your energy – like a vampire – or to energize you and those around you.
Think about it.
When you say things like “Why me?” or “Who did this?”, how does that feel?
Now try this one:
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
Pause. You probably start thinking of everything that can go wrong, right?
Now flip it.
Ask: “What’s the best that can happen?”
Feel the difference?
That’s the power of words.
The words we use are like seeds. Some bloom instantly. Others take time. But each word we plant shapes our internal garden.
2. Our Environments
There are two ways to change how we feel and function:
- Externally -through our surroundings.
- Internally – through our self-talk.
The external world doesn’t always depend on us. But the internal? That’s our domain. That’s where our words, thoughts, and tone become tools – or traps.
3. Feedgize or Drain
When you give yourself feedback, pay attention to the tone of your inner voice.
Are you feeding yourself – or bleeding yourself dry?
Do your words feedgize you or vampirize you?
As author Brené Brown explains, there’s a difference between guilt and shame.
- Shame says: “I’m such an idiot. I’m a failure.”
- Guilt says: “I did something stupid. I messed up.”
See the shift?
Shame attacks you. Guilt targets the action.
One drains, the other teaches.
Next time you fail or make a mistake, listen closely. Are you using vampire words or feedgizing ones?
4. Askgize: The Power of Energizing Questions
The same principle applies to the questions we ask.
When you receive feedback – or give it to yourself – are you asking the right questions?
Questions are portals.
They open doors or they close them.
Askgizing questions lift you.
Vampirizing questions trap you in the dark.
Instead of asking:
- “Why is this so hard?”
- “When will things change?”
- “Who messed up?”
Try this:
- “What can I do to improve the situation?”
- “How can I boost my motivation?”
- “How can I build a team that loves what they do?”
See how what and how questions come with action, ownership, and light?
They turn feedback into fuel.
5. Bonus Challenge
This week, try to catch yourself:
- When you speak, are you energizing or draining?
- When you ask, are you opening doors or closing them?
Feedgize your words.
Askgize your thoughts.
Watch how your energy – and everyone else’s – begins to change.
Ready to Build or Strengthen Trust within Your Team?
If you are looking for a motivational keynote speaker in the UK who can bring powerful metaphors and practical tools to inspire your team, I’d be delighted to connect with you.
Engage with me on conversations about feedback and the power of asking. If I share tools and tips, part is due to other people’s experiences and knowledge sharing. Visit my website to explore more insights and different perspectives.
